Merry Christmas from the Slangby Family

Christmas 2009

Dear Family and Friends,

Well, it’s that time of year again and I know you all look forward to my yearly Christmas letter. And it is a Christmas letter. Hear that? Christmas! That holiday this and that crap is going a little too far to suit me.

Like always, I’ll start with the good news.

Now I don’t mean to brag, but our little grandson Everett is doing great in school this year. Even the teacher’s amazed at his work. These are her exact words. “Looks like Ev will be out of junior high before he’s driving.” We couldn’t be prouder.

His older sister Mary Lula is going great guns too. She started at the local college this past fall. I can hardly believe she’s almost grown up. Mary Lula’s right at home in the cafeteria, and her boss is impressed how she’s taken to working that deep fryer. He drove her home the other night and asked how much she’d like to be head cashier. Our Mary Lula has a bright future ahead of her.

The best news of all is that Marvin, Jr. is coming home. Lord, it’s been so hard this past year. Marvin, Sr. and I worried ourselves sick over that boy. Not a day went by when I didn’t wake up wondering if he was okay. That’s if I slept at all. I lost many a night’s sleep fretting over him. That state budget shortage was a lifesaver. The prison’s budget got cut and they issued some early paroles. Marvin, Jr. was one of the lucky ones. Plus, he had no prior convictions before that convenient store misunderstanding. I know all you Slangby family members will be happy to see him at the reunion on New Year’s Day.

And that’s not all! Albert will be there too. Can you believe it? Both my boys at the reunion! I am a blessed woman. On the 30th that ankle bracelet comes off, so he can cross the state line to Ethel’s place this year. Albert’s real sensitive about his leg. I told him the hair will grow back. But please don’t mention it to him. His medication seems to be working, but I’d rather not push our luck.

Marvin and I are getting a new son-in-law. We’re happy to report our Karen Sue has herself a new beau. She met this really nice guy doing community service. It was love at first sight. They’re getting married in the park where they met. Karen Sue and Johnny Ray are asking that the guests don’t wear stripes. The invitation will remind you all. I don’t think they’ll serve any alcohol, but I’m sure they’ll mention that too.

Marvin, Sr. and I had our own little miracle. Now, don’t you go thinking we’re having a baby! We’re too old for that. No, Marvin and I called in sick last Monday. We needed a mental health day, like they say. Marvin and I took off for the boats and hit it big. How big? Well, I’ll be wearing my new genuine imitation mink to the party and Marvin will be getting that much needed hemorrhoid surgery now that he’s got the co-pay.

Remember how bad Marvin, Sr. felt about not knowing where his hunting buddy Hubert had taken off to? Marvin didn’t know whether Hubert was dead or alive. They’d lost contact years and years ago. Like Hubert walked into the forest and never came out. We were watching that show American’s Most Wanted and there Hubert was, the top story. Marvin, Sr. is so relieved to know he’s alive and kicking. Looked like he’d put on a little weight.

Not everything has been roses and lollipops though. Like every family, we’ve had our down times. That reminds me; don’t you go buying anything for Marvin III. That paternity test didn’t turn out so good.

The police around here are cracking down on adult entertainment, so Sissy’s out of work this Christmas. It’ll be rough on those five youngins of hers. They’re growing like weeds and no two have the same body build so it makes handing down clothes real hard. If you know anyone needing some holiday entertainment, give our Sissy a call.

Thank you all for asking about my mother. With helping Sissy and her kids out, we don’t have enough money left to pay for Grandma’s elder care every day. We had to come up with something to do with her while we work. The airport’s real busy on Mondays and Fridays, so we drop her off at airport security in the morning and most times she’s still in line when we get back. We feel good knowing she’s in a safe place.

That’s all the news from the Marvin Slangby family. We’ll see you all at the reunion.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!
Elvira Slangby