Christmas Questions

I’ve read the story of the first Christmas at least a zillion times. I know it’s not proper to critique the writing style of the apostles, but I dare say in this instance it’s sketchy at best.

It’s probably a guy thing. Women are by nature more interested in birthing tales, while men are more likely to be intrigued by how many miles to the bale of hay Joseph’s donkey got. Or what was going on at the Coliseum.

Had a woman written the account, we’d know more of the inside story. To make my point about men and their lack of attention to detail, I submit the following questions that given the opportunity any woman would have answered.


Was Mary’s mother upset she didn’t marry a guy with roots in Galilee? And when Caesar Augustus ordered the census, did she say I told you so?

Just curious. What’s it like riding a donkey when you’re nine months pregnant?

Just how many potholes were there on that road from Nazareth to Bethlehem?

How many rest stops did they make? Were the facilities clean? Was there paper in the Ladies' Room? How often did Joseph ask if Mary could hold it for just another mile or so?

When Joseph told her there were no rooms in Bethlehem, did it ever cross Mary’s mind he might just be trying to save a few bucks?

How much did Jesus weigh and how large was his head? And, Ouch! Did he come with the halo?

Did those angels and their trumpets keep baby Jesus awake all night? Was Mary ticked those shepherds dropped by unannounced?

Did the Wise Men hang around until Mary fed them?

I understand the gold, but whatever did Mary do with that frankincense and myrrh?

Did Mary and Joseph have Christmas every year? Or did Joseph’s family take a turn?